Loyalty: Your Own Commitment To You

 Loyalty plays a major role in our relationships– that’s something we can all agree on.

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But what we think loyalty means, is usually wrong.

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Despite popular opinion, loyalty isn’t commitment to another person, nor is it contractual in nature. In fact, it has nothing to do with debt or obligation toward another person.

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Loyalty is simply: Your own commitment to you.

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Loyalty is synonymous with self-respect.

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Most of us falsely assume that the concept of loyalty implicates two people instead of one. That’s because our idea of loyalty stems from what it looks like in the context of our relationships. Loyalty is thereby defined by behavior–specifically behavior directed toward a partner or friend.

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But things aren’t necessarily what they appear to be.

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.That’s why, in order to gain an accurate understanding of loyalty, we need the full view. This requires looking beyond BEHAVIOR, and considering ATTITUDE too

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k.Remember, BEHAVIOR is an instrument of ATTITUDE. In authentic relationships, behavior towards another person is not intentional.

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If it were, we would just be acting.

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.. Being respectful, or loyal to another person is an automatic BEHAVIOR – a side effect of an individual’s self-respect – i.e. their ATTITUDE toward themselves.

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In other words, loyalty exists within the self —and this is the part that most of us miss!

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We see loyalty when it manifests itself externally as respectful BEHAVIOR. But loyalty can only be understood via its internal manifestation  — as an ATTITUDE of self-respect. This is its true nature. 

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Remember: Only by respecting ourselves FIRST, are we then able to respect others.

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That’s why your partner is not your first priority–YOU are your first priority. 

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In the same way that you are not responsible to your partner–you are only responsible to YOU.

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Only one kind of bond assures a loyal relationship:

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And that’s the bond between two people

who are BOTH committed

to their OWN selves.

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The loyal bond between two starts with your own commitment to you.

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[See also: Why Evolving Individuals Struggle in Romantic Relationships ]

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About NSchacht

- San Francisco, CA - When I write with no destination in mind, I encompass all possibility.